Mama's Boys

For a long time it has been in the back recesses of  my mind to write an article entitled Mama's Boys. Mainly because I see so much of this going on around me and also, to hopefully cause a little less grief to someone out there who will inevitably suffer from being involved with a "Mama's Boy". Maybe some of the men will read this and decide not to let this be a problem in their lives, especially if they are little boys becoming men.

This article is for all the girls and women out there who have had the privilege of coming in contact or being married to the men that I call Mama’s Boys. And for all of you people out there who don’t know who or what are Mama’s Boys, I intend to spend a little time enlightening you.

A Mama’s Boy is the man who has “supposedly” grown up under the preconceived idea that if something goes wrong in his life, Mama is always there to fix it and/or to welcome him back home. She is the one he turns to when he decides to throw all caution to the wind and let everyone know that he intends to have his way or in other words “It’s my way or the highway”. A Mama’s Boy has a tendency to think that once he is married—that is if he gets married—to run to Mama’s house whenever there is a problem arising in his home with his wife. And usually the Man (Boy’s Mama) is there to welcome him with kindness so that he can feel nurtured in his time of need. She usually listens to his side of the story and kisses the boo-boos he is feeling, especially when he feels like he’s being mistreated at home. Many of these Mama’s Boys actually start believing that the wife is the cause of all their troubles and that they should just go back to their Mama and kiss the problem goodbye.

Sometimes when a Mama’s Boy gets into trouble with the law the Boy’s Mama goes right over to the courthouse and bails him out, even if she has to lie to do it. As for the ones that never do marry, but stay at home with Mama—they are usually allowed to hide in the shadows and are coddled to the point of destruction. These Mama’s Boys don’t have to get out of bed until they please. They are allowed to lounge their days away sitting in front of the TV, Internet, or Video games or all of the above. If someone should need their help around the house, they are just plain out not able to exert themselves enough to help. After a while, the Boy’s Mama gets tired of prodding and pushing the Mama’s Boy to help and finally succumbs to the cliché of “I just don’t know what to do with that Boy”—because in the Mama’s mind, he is still “her boy”. She has coddled him to the point that he is unable to make man-sized decisions or even do a man-sized job. But the bad part about this is that when Mama’s Boys are allowed to do as they please, they cause others around them to suffer. Someone has to pick up the slack and it is not the Mama’s Boy that’s doing it. This can also lead to other problems in the home, especially with the Boy’s Mama’s husband (should be his dad!). Either he’s a part of the problem or he has to live with the fact that he has a son living in the house that refuses to do anything to help at home. There is usually constant turmoil in the home because of this. In reality, the husband finds that he either has to succumb or get out.

So, there seems to be no end to the nightmare. And if he isn’t married, then when the Boy’s Mama gets sick or dies, someone else has to do all the things for the Mama’s Boy that the Mama took care of, because after the Mama’s Boy has been allowed to do as he pleases for a few years, he becomes unable to take care of himself—or in taking care of himself, he has to either lie and steal from his parents or he ends up on disability. I hope that all you Boys Mamas out there will take heed to the descriptions above and decide not to be the person to cause untold hurt and misery to those around you just because for some reason you have decided to keep your Boys from growing up!! There are many wives or ex-wives these days that have had to live with the misery and hurt of a Mama’s Boy, and I say dear Mama you are the reason for this happening. Because if you would just stop being there and helping your son out of all his “so-called” mishaps, or tell him when he’s wrong, maybe he would be able to grow up and be A Man!